It is often tough to measure the longevity of relationships these days with the world being so unpredictable. Some times external factors change daily within a persons life, so this can be hard to sustain a relationship. In saying that when thinking of where you would like to be in 5 years time, does your partner fit in to that plan? Here are a few little pointers to consider before popping the question.
ARE YOU HAPPY WITHIN YOURSELF?
I've always said it & I will say it again, if you don't love yourself how can you love someone else? Nowadays relationships are subject to all sorts of decisions & dilemmas both internal as well as external. We often look to our partner to close that gap in our lives, to do everything with & grow old together. As they say though, loving yourself means you can love another whole heartedly!
Have you spent enough time by yourself to have that independence that no one can take away from you?
Have you spent enough time alone with your own thoughts & emotions to know what loneliness is? Do you know if you can live with/without it?
Have you spent enough time exploring cities or countries & learnt from your experiences?
Do you have your own group of friends that you like to be around without your partner?
These are some tough questions I know, sorry about that, but lets cut to the point here.
Relationships shouldn't stop you from doing any of this so therefore if you still have certain struggles maybe address those before committing to marriage.
Some people may be different, their partner might make them feel more comfortable to address their inner demons, it really does depends on the individual. Marriage shouldn't stop you from living an independent existence, you do you, your lover does their own thing, then you come together as the 'perfect' couple.
There is always great expectations when it comes to relationships & why you might ask?
In a world full of extreme demand & stress, love brings out all those vulnerabilities to the surface, sometimes making it quite the challenge to survive. I know it can be easy to lose yourself in the moment but you need to think, "am I in this for the long term & all the right reasons."
DOES THIS PERSON FIT EFFORTLESSLY INTO YOUR LIFE?
There are honestly so many things to think about when sharing your life with a significant other; family, friends, financial circumstances, house, goals & literally everything.
Before tying the knot you need to know that your plans align. That you want the same things, are headed in the same direction and can still have your independence within the relationship.
I think your intuition will know whether your partner fits in to your life like that missing jigsaw puzzle piece you finally found under the couch.
Relaionships take work, dedication, and comminucation, but they shouldn't be extremely challenging or upsetting. There should be a level of individual independance as well as the want to spend time doing things together.
It's all about that balance.
ARE THEY YOUR SENSE OF 'HOME'?
Now I know you want your partner to make you feel all giddy, excited & even spontaneous but your partner should have that sense of safety & security. The feeling of home is pretty simple, it's feeling comfortable walking around the house not looking your best or feeling your best, then to have your partner comfort you no matter what.
Your partner should be your ultimate companion, the one your turn to about anything.
This person should make conversations flow & make you feel comfortable about absolutely anything.
Have you thought about whether you want to have kids? Can you picture you & your partner raising kids together? Are you on the same page with the whole kids thing?
So many important things to think about, obviously when you bring kids into the picture it changes everything even your relationship. Is your relationship strong enough to go through a few little hiccups then come out the other side stronger?
DO YOU LOVE THE GOOD AS WELL AS THE BAD?
There is no doubt there will be extremely highs in your relationship but I am sure there will be lows as well.
Everyone is human we all make mistakes from time to time it's important if you can forgive, forget & move on.
Can you deal with the bad traits your partner may have?
Are you willing to compromise to make it work?
Are some traits so unbearable that you can't see a long term future together?
You want to wake up in the morning to look at your partner snoring to think you absolutely adore them & love waking up next to them everyday!
You need someone who is going to excite you.
Also someone who is going to motivate you.
These are all such important qualities to have in a relationship. A lot of people will say relationships aren't suppose to be easy but I have to agree to disagree there, you need a partner who is going to fit nicely into your life so it is simply blissful rather than negatively draining your soul most of your life.
Or do you have a nice balance between the good & the bad?
These are all question only you know the answer too.
DO YOU SUPPORT THEM EVEN WHEN THEY CAN'T SUPPORT THEMSELVES?
When you are in a relationship with someone else there’s a type of connection that simply can’t be beaten.
It is so special when you support one another with their goals, hopes & life ambitions, it is the selfless part of being in a strong and healthy relationship. Are you the type of couple that lifts the other half when one of you is feeling down?
We all have ‘off’ days where we can’t back ourselves and on these days, it’s important to have someone rooting for you by your side.
Supporting your partner is so important, if they are having an off day it could simply just take you reassuring them with a positive situation to make them feel better, then they will feel like they can confide in you whenever something is wrong. If you throw off vibes that people are worse off than you, not listening or understanding your partner that is going to probably going to piss them right off, I wouldn't recommend that! Always listen, have an open heart & mind then hopefully your relationship will be stronger than ever.